Celebrating No.18 with Houston's Red Army

This article first appeared in Aberdeen Football Club's RedMatchday Magazine on May 24, 2009.

Most people look forward to setting their alarm clock back a few hours at weekends, but long lie-ins are not a luxury enjoyed by devoted football fans across the United States. Instead, millions of hardy souls gather in expatriate haunts from Santa Monica to Massachusetts every week to cheer on their favourite English Premiership teams.

As expected, the “Big Three” of Manchester United, Liverpool, and Arsenal garner most support, while Fulham attract a healthy following thanks to their recent penchant for American players. Though modern-day fixture scheduling can be unsympathetic—brutal for those on the Pacific coast—there is a sadistic pleasure attached to following European football from North America.

Sure, there are occasions when you seriously question your sanity as you drive, half-asleep, down a deserted freeway at 5.30am on a Sunday morning, praying that the bar staff will arrive in time for kick-off. But then comes the flip side—that euphoric, energising feeling as you tentatively emerge from a darkened tavern into blinding sunshine, realising that most of the day still lies ahead.

America’s Eastern and Central time zones benefit from this appeal save for the occasional inconvenience presented by Setanta’s lunchtime starts, as was the case last weekend when Manchester United sought one point against Arsenal to clinch a third successive Premiership title.

Not being a Setanta subscriber, I opted for the popular British-themed Richmond Arms in Houston’s Galleria district. Doors opened at 6am to welcome the first punters arriving for the anticipated title party. Those quick enough to commandeer tables ordered traditional English breakfasts washed down with a refreshing first beer of the day.

A mixed crowd of Brits (the odd authentic Mancunian among them), Africans, and Americans—predominantly clad in United merchandise bearing the names of Ronaldo, Rooney, and Tevez—briefly found their voices as the teams took to the field. A cluster of Arsenal fans kept their counsel away from the main crowd, hovering around one of the smaller televisions, as the Gunners made a positive start.

Pub landlords can probably guarantee one inevitable outcome when broadcasting a game of this magnitude—satellite problems. The United fans’ angst was exacerbated by a number of pauses in the action as the main screen failed to perform under the pressure of the big occasion. Thankfully the assembled patrons refrained from trashing the joint, as follow followers of another team once associated with Sir Alex Ferguson might have done.

As our host worked diligently to remediate the technical difficulties, a menu appeared listing obscure alternative channels like Belarus TV. I doubt residents of the former Soviet state were displaying similar nervousness toward the game’s outcome—apparently the Manchester United 2009-2010 Season Review DVD has been on sale in Minsk market squares for months, never mind this season’s offering.

Arsenal forward Andrey Arshavin made a promising early foray into the United penalty box, slaloming through a clutch of defenders and taking aim before the transmission froze once again. It seemed an ideal moment for former A Question of Sport host David Coleman to appear, posing the question: “What happened next?”

A nervy first half concluded with restored images but hushed surroundings as this particular Red Army outpost fretted over an uninspired showing by the champions-elect. Still, the job was half-done. Another 45 minutes of defensive fortitude would see Fergie’s men retain their domestic crown regardless of whether his attackers discovered their trademark resplendence. Confidence in the room returned as the second half commenced, helped by the bottles of champagne now littering the tables. It was now 7.45am after all.

A few late stragglers appeared, and the effects of early-morning alcohol consumption created a livelier environment as United’s struggle to find their fluidity continued. One Mancunian named Mike heightened the frequency and volume of singing as the unassailable 87-point mark loomed ever nearer. “U-N-I, T-E-D, United are the team for me”, he bellowed gustily before being joined in a cacophonous choir.

The lack of entertainment from this unusually languid encounter between the Premiership era’s eminent rivals faced competition from a more amusing game—Guess Whether the Song was Learned at Old Trafford or by Surfing the Internet. While Mark and the handful of Lancastrians were indisputably in the former category, the majority clearly were not. Still, the passion and enthusiasm displayed by American fans in their quest to embrace European football culture (brilliantly captured in Chuck Culpepper’s blithesome book “Bloody Confused!”) is to be commended, even if that culture cannot easily be replicated.

In the closing stages, one misguided fellow strayed beyond the comfort of “Glory Glory Man United” and succeeded only in butchering a staple of the Stretford End. “This is what it’s like to be (Manchester) City, this is what it’s like to be small…” he warbled, oblivious to the original Inspiral Carpets classic with slightly differing lyrics. Madchester would be spinning in its grave.

United’s muted performance barely mattered as they held out for a scoreless draw and anxiety turned to elation in the Richmond Arms. The astonishing might of Sky Sports was realised as a pub full of jubilant fans in Houston stood watching a section full of jubilant fans at Old Trafford, while off-camera a squad full of jubilant players paraded around the pitch with the Premiership trophy. It appeared that Setanta’s deal did not include permission to broadcast the award ceremony. Oh well, time or another celebratory tipple.

So the 17th Premiership season concluded with United winning an astounding 11th title. They have equalled Liverpool’s overall record of 18 despite trailing the Anfield club by seven points at New Year. Liverpool have now gone 19 years without a league title…and counting.

These, Mr Benitez, are facts.

Didier Drogba in WWE Switch?

Chelsea's gravitationally challenged striker Didier Drogba is renowned for his comical over-selling of the slightest physical contact, which could explain recent rumours reaching Hawksport that the Ivorian has been plotting an escape to World Wrestling Entertainment.

Drogba has spent much of the last two years pining for a new career venture. His apathy toward life in England first surfaced in the wake of Jose Mourinho's ignominious dismissal by the London superclub following a dismal 1-1 draw with Rosenborg in 2007. Not even the 500 fans in attendance that night could save The Special One from The Oligarch.

Now it appears that the 31-year-old's latest attempt to impress WWE chairman Vince McMahon came during this week's Champions League semi-final tie with Barcelona.

After yet another Swan Lake-inspired tumble failed to con Norwegian referee Tom Henning Ovrebo, Drogba opted to channel his rage by perfecting his Spinaroonie—a move made famous by five time, five time, five time, five time, five time WCW Champion Booker T.

When asked his thoughts about being snubbed from the card at last month's Wrestlemania XXV, Drogba told Sky Sports reporters: "It's a disgrace. It's a disgrace. It's a f*ck*ng disgrace."

Eager to prove his worth, the Ivorian performed another Spinaroonie for the assembled press corps in his post-match interview before aiming a steely message at the megalomaniacal wrestling chairman.

An animated Drogba bellowed: "Can you dig it...SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?"

Following a Minority Sport in NYC

This article first appeared in Aberdeen Football Club's RedMatchday Magazine on May 2, 2009.

Football may be viewed as a minority sport in the U.S., but in a city as multicultural and monolithic as New York there are hundreds of thousands of soccer fans following the action from Europe and South America every week. The problem for Major League Soccer is getting those fans through the gates at New York Red Bulls matches.

The Red Bulls struggle to attract more than 15,000 fans to their home games despite inhabiting a greater metropolitan area of some 19 million people. It is a mark they achieved only six times in 16 fixtures last season. Arena location does not help. Giants Stadium, the current abode shared with the NFL’s Giants and Jets, was built across the Hudson River on the swampy wastelands of East Rutherford, New Jersey. Though only seven miles from Midtown Manhattan, the venue poses transportation challenges for many of the city’s vehicle-less residents…and tourists. Sacrifices are easily made to watch the NFL, but not MLS. Not yet.

Unperturbed, I made the journey a fortnight ago to see the Red Bulls clinch an unflattering 2-0 win over Real Salt Lake—their first victory of the season. I wondered how many others would join me.

I set off from my hotel at 5.15, travel instructions printed from the Red Bulls’ website in hand, allowing plenty of time for a 7.30 kick-off. Steps One and Two were a breeze as I strolled the three blocks to Penn Station and acquired a special $10 roundtrip ticket covering the train and bus rides to the stadium. By contrast, residents of Bronx, Brooklyn, or Queens firstly have to negotiate the city’s extensive transport network to arrive at Manhattan’s major rail hub. But there I was, ticket at the ready, scanning the departures board at 5.29, when major inconvenience reared its head.

Step Three involved taking a New Jersey-bound train to nearby Secaucus Junction. Plenty of trains cross under the river, but only one every hour was identified as stopping at Secaucus. With 42 minutes to fill until the 6.11 to Dover, I wandered the station concourse looking for gathering throngs of exuberant soccer followers heading to the match. None appeared. Instead, the platforms overflowed with New York Mets merchandise as fans returned home from an afternoon watching baseball at Citi Field.

I finally arrived at Secaucus station at 6.20 and embarked upon Stage Four—transferring to one of the buses heading for Giants Stadium. Within ten minutes Stage Five was complete as I alighted in a vast but desolate parking lot. Americans love to tailgate, but I could see no more than a dozen people enjoying a pre-game beer before entering the stadium confines.

Ticket prices are an appealing feature of MLS. I snapped up an excellent seat between the 18-yard and halfway lines—only ten rows from the front—for a mere $32 and settled down to see if Salt Lake could avenge their defeat in last season’s Western Conference Final.

Instead it took the hosts less than 100 seconds to go ahead. Nick Rimando could only parry a cross from Dane Richards and Senegalese striker Macoumba Kandji was on hand to thump the loose ball high beyond the prostrate goalkeeper.

The goal arrived too soon for many in attendance, including the stadium announcer who credited the goal to Richards. Even legendary English commentator John Motson would struggle to confuse this pair given that, at 6”4”, Kandji towers over his diminutive teammate by almost an entire foot.

As regular attendees will testify, there is a level of banter among football crowds which cannot be rivalled at any other sporting event. Not only has this humour survived the gentrification of many stadia—albeit in a watered-down format—but it exists in whichever country you watch the game. The U.S. is no different.

One typically brash New Yorker behind me filled the role of sarcastic, infuriated fan admirably, berating his team to the extent that his larynx risked permanent damage. His shouts increased in frequency and volume after half-time when left-midfielder Khano Smith switched to our side of the field.

Smith, signed from New England in the close season to replace departed Dutchman Dave van den Bergh, has a long way to go to win over the Red Bulls’ support. His every contribution or lack thereof provoked taunts from Mr Infuriated Fan, who questioned everything from Smith’s work ethic to his parentage.

The pessimistic support poured further scorn on their team as Salt Lake seemed primed for an equaliser, with one victim known as “Deadweight” serving as another prime target. The inevitable equaliser looked to have arrived when Yura Movsisyan’s deflected effort looped over Red Bulls’ goalkeeper John Conway toward an empty net, but defender Kevin Goldthwaite raced back to clear acrobatically from his goal-line. My question had been answered.

“Hey, it’s Deadweight!” roared one fan as ironic cheers and chuckles engulfed the disbelieving section.

A moment of brilliance from Kandji on 57 minutes set up Juan Pablo Angel to give New York a two-goal cushion. It was a deficit that Salt Lake failed to reduce despite the 66th minute dismissal of Red Bulls’ defender Jeremy Hall.

By 9.40, five minutes after the full-time whistle, I was back on the shuttle bus to Secaucus, arriving at 10.00 for the 10.20 train back to Penn Station. The slight delay caused my nostrils to fill with the putrid smell of the surrounding swamps as celebratory Red Bulls fans were joined by young revellers seeking the excitement and bright lights of a Saturday night in the Big Apple.

Overall, my journey had been seamlessly convenient. Then I learned that the attendance had been abysmally low—only 8,508 for New York’s second home game of the season. Queuing for trains and buses would be an altogether more unpleasant experience if joined by another 30,000 fans.

For now, following a “minority sport” does have its advantages.

FSC Needs To Step Up Its Domestic Coverage

An irreverent look at FSC’s Game of the Week

Fox Soccer Channel announced last Monday that it had acquired the rights to broadcast the UEFA Champions League in the United States—a privilege held by ESPN since 1994. FSC already provides extensive live coverage of English and Italian league matches, and is rightfully exalted for its promotion of soccer in North America, but the channel could provide a major boost to the league in its own backyard by improving its presentation of Major League Soccer.

Domestically, ESPN are blessed with the perceptiveness of former Sheffield Wednesday midfielder John Harkes who adds astute analysis to the experienced play-by-play commentary of J.P. Dellacamera. The story is markedly different on FSC—as I was reminded during Saturday’s clash between Houston Dynamo and New York Red Bulls.

Commentators are efficacious when keeping a low profile. Soccer fans are largely a savvy crew with a deep knowledge of the game, meaning that perpetual chatter is not required—the game speaks for itself. Cogent commentators enhance the viewing experience by punctuating the action with occasional facts, colourful statistics, or sound opinions on the tactical battle unfolding.

These are skills that FSC duo Max Bretos and Christopher Sullivan are a long way from mastering. In fact, this duo could learn a lot from the punters on Sky Sports' Fanzone.

If there was a silver lining in the fourth minute collision between Red Bulls goalkeeper Danny Cepero and Dynamo forward Kei Kamara that saw the former depart the field with a concussion, it was that Bretos realised Cepero had been briefly keeping goal behind New York’s defence—the seemingly ubiquitous custodian having already been credited with a couple of smart saves from his own forwards some 110 yards away.

The perennially garrulous Sullivan shared his esteemed assessment of the incident and the medical team’s procedures. What looked like two committed players throwing themselves bravely at Brad Davis’ inswinging free kick took on new light as he opined: “Kamara has to have a better coordination.” Quite.

“Christopher’s Keys” followed—a segment where the veteran of the USA’s 1990 World Cup team outlines his three strategies for both teams. Revelations need not apply. Houston needed to “set the tone”—as the home team usually looks to do—while New York needed to “support the attack”—as any team usually looks to do. Sullivan’s knack for depicting the obvious shone through when Juan Pietravallo was booked for a high kick into the face of Brad Davis. He informed viewers that: “This is a dangerous play. He kicks right into the face.” What more that didn’t need to be said could be said?

As the first half continued, Sullivan treated his audience to his unique repertoire of soccer jargon. A forward making a yard of space to get a shot on goal makes a “separating movement”. A wide midfielder skipping past the full-back makes a “little change of tempo to separate himself”. A counter-attack is a “transitional breakout”. Team-mates passing the ball around make a “transition”, occasionally known as a “collective transition”, or a “three-man combination” if involving a trio of team-mates.

Listening to his analysis reminds me of reading the Anthony Burgess novel A Clockwork Orange—for a while you have absolutely no idea what language you are absorbing.

Dynamo striker Brian Ching had a rare chance to excite demoralised viewers on 36 minutes when he raced clear on substitute Alec Dufty’s goal despite appearing to be at least five yards offside. The U.S. international could only lob the ball over the approaching stand and into the adjacent car park as the stalemate continued.

A reason for the dismal nature of the opening period was offered by Sullivan. He said of Houston’s struggles: “It’s been very vertical…the wide points have been tight…no fluidity in the combination play.” Enlightening stuff.

The show was somewhat rescued at half-time by the slick studio presentation of Todd Grisham—well-schooled in dealing with pantomime from his alternative employment with World Wrestling Entertainment—but it didn’t take long for the deterioration to set in again. “Christopher’s Keys” to the second half saw Houston now needing “Higher Pressure” instead of simply “Pressure”, while it was the Red Bulls’ turn to “manage the tempo”.

Ching benefitted from commentators’ licence when his routine cutback was eulogised by Sullivan: “He separates himself and has the presence of mind to play that back on a diagonal.” Unfortunately, his strike partner Kamara could not get on the end of the cross with one of his “slashing runs”.

Bleakness turned to liveliness in the final 15 minutes when referee Hilario Grajeda issued two red cards. New York midfielder Carlos Johnson was dismissed for a late tackle on Geoff Cameron, while Dynamo substitute Mike Chabala followed for a recklessly enthusiastic lunge in stoppage time. It was a rare occasion where a CONCACAF official was spot on with his decisions, but Bretos seemed unconvinced of Johnson’s dismissal. “When I first saw the challenge, I thought it was definitely a foul…possibly a yellow card…possibly a red card.” Nothing like keeping your options open.

As Red Bulls head coach Juan Carlos Osorio looked to reshuffle having already made his three substitutions, Bretos had me wondering whether a new ruling had been adopted by MLS. “Osorio still has some wiggle room”, he told the nation. “The first substitution will not count as it was an injury to the goalkeeper.”

The situation was clarified moments later as Bretos announced: “I do apologise. New York are out of substitutions.” It is doubtful whether Sage Sullivan pointed out the error of his colleague’s ways.

So a dreadful game came to a close—the 0-0 scoreline thankfully sparing us from Bretos’ trademark “Yaaaaaaaaay” shouts when a goal is scored—but the disappointment did not end there.

Osorio—one of the league’s more cerebral, tactically astute coaches—sullied his reputation with unnecessary and childish gesticulations to the home fans referencing his team’s 3-0 win at Houston in last year’s MLS play-offs.

Not that Bretos saw fit to criticise Osorio’s actions, as he gleefully told viewers that it was “almost worth watching the whole game just to see that”.

Please, Max, leave such observations in the playground in future.

MLS—Seattle Sounds Out A Warning

Seattle—the Emerald City based in the Pacific Northwest, famed for coffee, grunge music, Pike Place Market, and the Space Needle—could soon be elongating its list of attractions with the name of Seattle Sounders FC.

Granted we are only 90 minutes into the new Major League Soccer season, but the statement of intent laid down by Sigi Schmid’s expansion team in their 3-0 destruction of New York Red Bulls, last season’s beaten MLS Cup finalists, could not have been any more emphatic.

Scoring goals is the hardest part of the game, and players who have been cobbled together for a first tilt at America’s top level habitually struggle in this department. San Jose Earthquakes took until their sixth game last year to notch their third goal. Toronto waited until their ninth game in 2007 to achieve the feat. Seattle required a mere 75 minutes.

The outstanding performer on opening night was Colombian international Fredy Montero. The 21-year-old forward claimed last year’s Golden Boot award in his home country while playing for Deportivo Cali. He starts his loan spell in MLS in similar vein with two impressive strikes.

Montero is exactly the sort of player that this league should be trying to attract—a young, raw, developing talent reared in the soccer hotbeds of South America who is desperate to become established at the professional level. The 32,523 fans that created a euphonic sea of green inside Qwest Field this evening were certainly excited by his repertoire of skills.

The hosts’ first meaningful attack on 11 minutes resulted in Montero opening the scoring. Three players combined to work the ball across the face of New York’s penalty area before Frenchman Sébastien Le Toux found Montero alone near the right corner of the box. The youngster steadied himself before steering a low drive beyond Red Bulls goalkeeper Danny Cepero’s despairing dive.

Nate Jaqua had a chance to double the lead four minutes later when he launched his rangy frame at Sanna Nyassi’s cross, but the former Houston Dynamo striker saw his flick drift agonisingly beyond Cepero’s far post.

With the excitable 52-member Sound Wave marching band, created at the behest of part-owner Drew Carey, setting the tempo in the stands, the Sounders continued their lively offensive spell and made it 2-0 on 25 minutes. Montero received a throw-in on the left before angling a precise reverse pass into the path of the on-rushing Brad Evans. The former Columbus midfielder burst into the penalty area undetected and drilled his low shot through the legs of the wretchedly exposed Cepero.

New York were now in disarray after looking the more composed outfit in the opening ten minutes. But even during those promising early stages, the Red Bulls were stifled in the final third by the industry of Seattle’s midfield. When the Sounders regained possession they quickly piled three or four players into New York’s penalty area to leave the visitors’ backline overwhelmed.

Red Bulls head coach Juan Carlos Osorio tried to stem the green tide by replacing the embattled Andrew Boyens with Jeremy Hall on 34 minutes. Siniša Ubiparipović, his swamped defensive midfielder, lasted until half-time before making way for Danleigh Borman.

The pattern in the second half remained consistent despite Osorio’s reorganising as Seattle asphyxiated any attempted Red Bull charges. This particular brand of energy drinks supposedly gives its consumers wings, but it was the men from a city renowned for its coffee companies that appeared to be infused with a caffeine rush.

Londoner Steve Zakuani, the first pick in January’s Superdraft of college players, made his professional debut when he replaced the zestful Nyassi on 68 minutes. He almost scored with his first touch four minutes later.

Montero’s legerdemain saw him wriggle free from two New York players on the right flank before releasing Evans on the overlap. His low cross was deflected behind Zakuani, but the former Arsenal youth player still forced Cepero to make a smart save from his shot on the turn.

New York inflicted further damage upon themselves on 75 minutes when Mike Petke dwelled on the ball just inside his own half. Montero quickly seized upon the defender’s poor touch to steal possession and race clear on Cepero. A confident shimmy sent the goalkeeper to ground before the Colombian cemented his Man of the Match display with a composed finish high into the top corner.

All that remained was for Schmid to withdraw his ace in injury time to allow the fervent home support to roar their appreciation. Even they could not have envisioned such an impressive start. The pleasant surprise led to chants of “We’re so good it’s unbelievable” as the referee brought proceedings to a close and fireworks lit up the night sky.

If this is the shape of things to come in MLS in 2009—and over the next two years with the addition of franchises in Philadelphia, Vancouver, and Portland—then North American soccer fans are in for a real treat.

MLS 2009 Preview

Predicting the Major League Soccer champions days before the new season begins is an unenviable task.

Firstly, strict roster restrictions and salary caps guarantee a certain level of parity among the league’s 15 franchises.

Secondly, huge uncertainty exists around which players will be available for the entire campaign—flourishing performances can attract summer transfers to Europe, while American expatriates failing to make the grade abroad or nearing the end of their careers may be making the opposite journey.

Thirdly, MLS does not adjourn for international dates—this is especially relevant in 2009 with ongoing World Cup qualification and the CONCACAF Gold Cup tournament taking place, as well as the U.S. team’s participation in June’s Confederations Cup.

Finally, as New York Red Bulls showed last year, anything can happen when it comes to the post-season play-offs.

Columbus Crew suffered three seasons of purgatory before rebounding to the top of the regular season table and lifting MLS Cup last year. Real Salt Lake fell agonisingly short of appearing in that final having also turned around three seasons of woe to mount a title challenge.

In this year’s Western Conference, I’m going for seasoned campaigners Houston Dynamo to reclaim their crown with Real Salt Lake as their closest challengers. In the East, another Conference Final between Columbus Crew and Chicago Fire could be on the cards but with a different outcome.

Come November 22 at Seattle’s Qwest Field, I’ll take Houston to clinch their third MLS Cup in four seasons over Cuauhtemoc Blanco and his Chicago teammates.

Here is a look at this year’s title contenders, play-off hopefuls, and helpless stragglers.

The Contenders

Chicago Fire (2008—3rd overall in regular season, lost to Columbus Crew in Eastern Conference final)

Head coach Denis Hamlett retains much of the squad that pushed Columbus all the way to the Eastern Conference title last year.

Cuauhtémoc Blanco, the team’s fiery 36-year-old Mexican captain, may be in the twilight months of his career, but he continues to inspire his teammates—particularly the impressive American forward Chris Rolfe.

Brian McBride, another 36-year-old veteran, adds his experience for a full campaign after arriving midway through last year to notch five goals in 11 games.

Former Manchester United trainee John Thorrington will be a major threat from midfield if he can remain injury-free.

This year could be MLS Cup or bust for Hamlett’s ageing stars.

Columbus Crew (2008—1st overall, MLS Cup Winners)

The champions’ title defence kicks off with much the same squad as last year despite fears that 35-year-old Argentine playmaker Guillermo Barros Schelotto, last season’s league and MLS Cup Most Valuable Player, may not return.

Schelotto is again supported by the highly-rated young winger Robbie Rogers and Venezuelan striker Alejandro Moreno.

Head coach Sigi Schmid’s defection to Seattle Sounders is a huge loss. Former Everton striker Robert Warzycha, who ended his playing days with Columbus, steps in to fill the void.

The Crew will remain near the Eastern Conference summit, but an expanded schedule with Champions League commitments will severely test their squad.

Houston Dynamo (2008—2nd overall, lost to New York Red Bulls in Western Conference semi-final)

The 2006 and 2007 champions were arguably the league’s best team last year, but they were undone by the most congested schedule in the league (participating in the Pan-Pacific Championship, CONCACAF Champions Cup, US Open Cup, Superliga, and CONCACAF Champions League) as well as the eminent fortune of New York’s post-season run.

Star player Dwayne De Rosario returned home to Toronto in the off-season, but his departure presents an opportunity for Aberdeen-born attacking midfielder Stuart Holden to cement his first team place. The Dynamo midfield remains formidable with Brad Davis, Ricardo Clark, Geoff Cameron, and Brian Mullan all capable of making strong contributions.

Houston’s defence has already been cruelly exposed by Atlante in the Champions League quarter-final, and the news that Eddie Robinson will likely miss the entire season is a devastating blow. Julius James arrives as part of the De Rosario trade but he will take time to settle into new surroundings.

Head coach Dominic Kinnear, however, is a master of strengthening his squad in the summer. His team remains serious title contenders. They have the experience and hunger to reclaim the title.

Los Angeles Galaxy (2008—13th overall)

No team finished 2008 with fewer points than the league’s self-appointed flagship franchise, leaving Bruce Arena with a major rebuilding job over the winter.

The former U.S. national team manager has overhauled his defence. Steve Cronin, Ante Jazic, Mike Randolph, Troy Roberts, and Greg Vanney have all being shipped out. Of that calamitous group, only Jazic remains in the league at present (with Chivas USA). Ukrainian Dema Kovalenko comes in from Real Salt Lake to fortify the midfield.

Landon Donovan returns from Bayern Munich to link up rejoin Edson Buddle in attack—a lethal partnership that netted 35 times for the league’s most potent offense last year.

Arena will definitely solidify this team and should have them mounting a challenge for the first time since 2005, but as always the key figure will be Galaxy’s English Tourist even though he misses the first four months due to more pressing commitments elsewhere.

Since Beckham’s MLS debut in August 2007, the team has accumulated 30 points from 30 games in his presence (33%). Galaxy performs markedly better in his absence—23 points from 17 games (45%).

Success or failure may hinge on whether Arena continues to hold the reigns when Beckham returns from his increasingly mediocre loan to Milan, or whether the club’s management will again be undermined by pop svengali Simon Fuller.

Real Salt Lake (2008—7th overall, lost to New York Red Bulls in Western Conference final)

Jason Kreis’ team were the form side toward the end of last season, with only the width of the Rio Tinto Stadium goal frame preventing them from reaching MLS Cup Final.

Kreis has built a solid squad around core team values—there are no high earners on this roster, but there is quality.

The departures of Dema Kovalenko, Fabian Espindola, and Kenny Deuchar frees up salary cap room should Kreis need to reinforce his squad in the summer.

Look for Kyle Beckerman, Javier Morales, and Yura Movsisyan to fire this team back into the play-offs.

Play-Off Hopefuls

Chivas USA (2008—5th overall, beaten by Real Salt Lake in Western Conference semi-final)

No team has endured greater misfortune with injuries in recent seasons, as exemplified by the signing of Swiss international Raphael Wicky. The former Hamburg midfielder was limited to 138 minutes of action last year before picking up an ankle injury which has subsequently led to his retirement.

Head coach Preki also loses the experience of veteran Mexican defender Claudio Suarez to retirement. Francisco Mendoza, another Mexican, returns south of the border to Chivas de Guadalajara.

With no major signings, much will depend on the health of forwards Ante Razov and Maykel Galindo. After contributing 23 goals between them in 2007, injuries restricted the pair to a combined 22 starts and 6 goals last year.

A question remark hovers over the future of midfielder Sacha Kljestan. The U.S. international trained with Celtic in January and remains on the radar of European clubs. Impressive displays in either the Confederations Cup or Gold Cup could see him depart in the summer.

Expect Chivas to reach the play-offs again, but no more.

D.C. United (2008—10th overall)

The most decorated franchise in MLS history suffered a dreadful campaign in 2008, missing out on the play-offs after two successive years of winning the Supporters’ Shield.

Some pride was restored by lifting the U.S. Open Cup, but head coach Tom Soehn knows that vast improvement in the league is essential to keep the pressure off his shoulders.

Argentine midfielder Christian Gomez returns to the capital after one season with Colorado Rapids. He replaces his countryman Marcelo Gallardo who has returned to River Plate after a disappointing campaign as D.C.’s designated player.

Brazilian striker Luciano Emilio and veteran Bolivian playmaker Jaime Moreno continue to carry the attacking threat.

United will improve this season, but not enough to pose a genuine title threat.

New England Revolution (2008—4th overall, lost to Chicago Fire in Eastern Conference semi-final)

The Revs were another team who stagnated last year as a result of injuries to key players.

After three successive MLS Cup Final defeats from 2005 to 2007, Steve Nicol’s team exited tamely against Chicago in last year’s Eastern Conference semi-final.

Taylor Twellman, one of the league’s top strikers, missed half of last year through injury. His health is vital to New England’s success, especially with his understudy Adam Cristman moving on to Kansas City Wizards.

Shalrie Joseph and Steve Ralston remain as the driving forces in midfield, while much will depend on the continued development of Gambian youngsters Kenny Mansally and Sainey Nyassi.

The loss of defender Michael Parkhurst to Danish Superliga outfit FC Nordsjælland is a significant loss at the back.

Another Conference semi-final exit could be on the cards.

New York Red Bull (2008—8th overall, lost to Columbus Crew in MLS Cup Final)

Mired in mediocrity for the entire 2008 regular season, the Red Bulls somehow summoned the spirit—and generous doses of luck—to reach MLS Cup Final having overcome both Houston Dynamo and Real Salt Lake on the road.

Head coach Juan Carlos Osorio is a shrewd tactician with a peripatetic nature on the touchline, but he has been unable to enhance his squad for this year’s challenge.

Greater contributions are essential from skilful Venezuelan playmaker Jorge Rojas, Colombian forward Oscar Echeverry, and Argentine midfielder Juan Pietravallo. The South American trio joined during the 2008 summer transfer window but quickly fell out of favour.

Juan Pablo Angel returns to Giants Stadium despite suffering a series of aggravating back and hamstring injuries exacerbated by the unforgiving artificial surface.

Dane Richards showed his qualities toward the end of last season. The Jamaican winger needs to be more consistent this time around if the Red Bulls are to enjoy further success.

San Jose Earthquakes (2008—14th overall)

Last year’s debutants finished bottom by virtue of their inferior head-to-head record against Los Angeles Galaxy—a team they had a better goal difference than.

The summer acquisition of Englishman Darren Huckerby brought the Quakes from the brink of obscurity to the forefront of the play-off race before flaming out in the final fortnight.

Head coach Frank Yallop has been busy in the off-season. His major acquisition is American international Bobby Convey from Reading. His capture, added to the presence of Huckerby for the full year, should provide enough firepower to see San Jose reach the play-offs.

A good start is essential—San Jose have five of their first seven fixtures at home.

The Stragglers

Colorado Rapids (2008 – 9th overall)

A dramatic injury time equaliser from Real Salt Lake’s Yura Movsisyan in last season’s final game denied the Rapids a place in last year’s play-offs.

Gary Smith enters his first full year as head coach with largely the same squad of players, although Senegalese goalkeeper Bouna Coundoul and Scottish forward Tam McManus have left after failing to agree new contracts.

Conor Casey and Omar Cummings link well in attack and will again thrive off the service provided by English right-midfielder Terry Cooke, but with a weakened squad a run at the play-offs may be slightly beyond them this year.

F.C. Dallas (2008 – 11th overall)

Dallas spent most of last year in the lower reaches of the Western Conference despite the impressive goalscoring exploits of former Manchester United trainee Kenny Cooper,

The 24-year-old striker notched 18 goals, using his combination of size, strength, two-footedness, and pace to unsettle defenders. A $2million bid from Cardiff City last July was turned down and Cooper remains in MLS…for now.

First year head coach Schellas Hyndman has acquired Dutch midfielder Dave van den Bergh from New York, but he still needs a quality replacement for Colombian Juan Toja following his move to Steaua Bucharest last August.

Another successful start for Cooper may see him leaving in the summer, ending any hopes Dallas may harbour for reaching the play-offs.

Kansas City Wizards (2008—6th overall, lost to Columbus Crew in Eastern Conference semi-final)

Curt Onalfo’s side is perhaps the hardest to judge in the entire league.

For a start, the Wizards do not attract the same weight of attention as the league’s more successful franchises or bigger market teams. Secondly, their form last season fluctuated wildly.

Kansas fell to the depths of the Eastern Conference after an excellent start, but then mounted an unlikely resurgence to reach the play-offs—16 points from their last seven games saw them finish sixth overall in the combined standings.

That turnaround came after their designated player Claudio Lopez, the former Valencia and Lazio striker, had been dropped to the bench. The Argentine remains with the club despite his disappointing displays.

Adam Cristman is a good signing from New England Revolution, and captain Jimmy Conrad will guarantee that the side remains spirited. The organisation is more settled off the field this time around, but a lack of quality will prove fatal to their play-off hopes.

Seattle Sounders (2008—n/a)

The league’s newest team embarks on their inaugural campaign with an impressive ownership group in place, last season’s MLS Cup-winning head coach Sigi Schmid at the helm, and a passionate fan base already snapping up over 20,000 season tickets.

Sadly, Seattle faces the age-old problem for expansion teams—trying to get an entirely new squad of players to gel. Experienced acquisitions such as Kasey Keller and Freddie Ljungberg will bring stability, while the development of this year’s first draft pick Steve Zakuani will be interesting to watch.

Expect the Sounders to be competitive, but a play-off spot will be slightly beyond them.

Toronto F.C. (2008 – 12th overall)

General manager Mo Johnston is renowned for his frequent dalliances in the transfer market. This off-season has been no different.

Returning hometown hero Dwayne De Rosario is by far the club’s biggest capture and a real statement of their ambitions. He is not the only Toronto native returning from Texas as Adrian Serioux moves north from Dallas to bolster the defence.

The Reds feel the effects of international dates more than any other franchise with a core of Canadian internationals at the heart of the side. Last September, head coach John Carver was forced to field three defenders signed on one-week contracts—including one retired MLS player employed as a scout—in a 3-1 home defeat to Chivas USA.

July’s Gold Cup will not help Carver as he bids to take Toronto to a first play-off appearance.

Austin Aztex prepare for USL debut

This article was written for the March 18, 2009 edition of RedMatchday Magazine.

Austin Aztex, the newest professional team in the U.S., continued their preparations for their inaugural season in the United Soccer Leagues First Division—North America’s second tier behind Major League Soccer—with a spirited 2-2 draw against Texas rivals Houston Dynamo last weekend.

Formed in 2008, the Aztex organisation has quickly assembled a squad which stands every chance of being competitive when the 11-team USL-1 season kicks off on April 18. The club is owned by Stoke City board member Phil Rawlins, an Englishman based in the Texas state capital, and the two teams have a formal partnership which will see the Aztex acting as a potential source for future Potters players.

Further links between the teams run deeper than Austin’s adoption of red-and-white jerseys. Manager Adrian Heath is best remembered for his trophy-laden Everton days in the mid-1980’s but he was born in the Stoke area and started his career at the old Victoria Ground. Heath has bolstered his fledgling squad of young American talent with four players from England’s lower leagues, the most notable being another former Stoke man Gifton Noel-Williams.

The Aztex will play their home games at Nelson Field; a humble 8,800 seated high school stadium that promises to unsettle visiting teams. The two-sided ground lies adjacent to the main highway running eastbound to Houston and its open ends create a wind tunnel which, compounded by the artificial surface and dominating presence of American football lines, adds complexity to the simplest of tasks.

As with any new business, attracting customers in the opening months and retaining their loyalty thereafter is paramount to building future success. Rawlins will be pleased that the 4,177 fans in attendance last week—albeit a sizeable chunk making the 160-mile trip from Houston—were treated to an entertaining game. The travelling El Batallón and Texian Army supporter groups did their part to create a lively atmosphere while Austin’s stadium announcer enlightened the novices among the home crowd with frequent updates on the action. Hopefully he won’t be required to trumpet every “Corner to Austin” for too long.

The enthusiasm in Heath’s side was evident from the first whistle as the two-time MLS champions struggled for time on the ball. Despite some slick play by Dynamo midfielders Brad Davis and Stuart Holden, the Aztex struck first on 21 minutes when Noel-Williams released Sullivan Silva down the right to score the club’s first ever goal. An exuberant Silva sprinted to the West Stand to be embraced by fans and team-mates alike while our trusty announcer did his best to sour the historic moment by blasting DJ Ötzi over the tannoy.

An amusing indicator of the highly-professionalised approach ingrained in American fitness methods was provided when Silva emerged from the ruck. There was no card-happy referee laying in wait to punish his over-elaborate celebrations; rather the team physio demanding that he sup from a water bottle to replenish lost fluids. Sadly for Silva he was to become better acquainted with the physio minutes later after limping out of the game.

Brian Mullan restored parity for the visitors on 34 minutes before Noel-Williams’ ebullience saw him dismissed following a second caution for a hard challenge on Holden. In truth, it was a harsh decision and one of many abysmal calls made by the match officials. Dynamo head coach Dominic Kinnear came to the aid of his opponents by asking the referee to allow Heath to introduce a substitute in place of his fallen captain. Kinnear said afterwards: “We wanted to play against eleven. It’s an exhibition so it doesn’t do either team any good to play with a man down.”

Austin received further assistance in first half stoppage time courtesy of a unique officiating gaffe. Former Dynamo reserve Kyle Brown’s effort was thwarted on the goal-line by young goalkeeper Tally Hall. Dynamo captain Wade Barrett reached the rebound ahead of Eddie Johnson, but his attempts to clear were derailed when the former Manchester United trainee clearly bundled him and the ball into the net.

As the referee ran to the six-yard line signalling a direct free kick, the opportunistic Johnson wheeled away in delight towards the same section of the crowd while Austin’s players again joined the melee. Still our esteemed officials waited before realising nobody was paying attention to them. With “Pump up the Volume” by M/A/R/R/S now filling the night sky, the referee simply cut his losses and trekked back to the halfway line.

Kinnear made wholesale changes at the interval with only one outfield player reappearing, but his reserves drew level on 47 minutes when trialist Eric Quill completed the scoring. Kei Kamara looked to have won the game for Houston when he rounded goalkeeper Miguel Gallardo and found the net, only to be denied by another bizarre refereeing decision. Gallardo was adjudged to have deliberately handled the ball outside his penalty area as he failed to deny the Sierra Leone international. Play was pulled back in any case—Houston were rewarded with a free kick; Gallardo went unpunished.

From then on the Aztex backroom staff became the busiest people in the ground. Waiting substitutes received thorough muscle rubs to prepare them for action while those being replaced were diligently checked by the physio before being put through their warm-down paces by the fitness guru.

At first glance, the rigorously attentive preparation off the field allied with a combative, enthusiastic spirit from his players suggests that Heath can look forward to a promising opening campaign. Whether the team’s successes or failures are debated in the city’s famed Sixth Street bars or not...well, that may have to wait another few years.